~孩子~

有时候，

好希望自己还是个小孩

像个小孩般的

傻傻的

像个小孩般的

善忘的

那该多好

心爱的玩具没了

哭了一天

伤心了一天

睡一个觉

第二天起床

什么都忘了

忘了心爱的玩具昨天没了

或者是

妈妈买了个新的玩具

很快的，就爱上了新的玩意

将旧的抛之脑后

然后又快快乐乐的

过一天，又一天，再一天

完全忘了

以前最心爱的玩具

该有多好啊

简单简单的

怎么人越大

越那么难放下

为何就不能像个小孩一样

人的贪念很可怕

人的占有欲更可怕

我贪念你给我的快乐

我贪念你给我的温软

我贪念你给我的温柔

我贪念你给我的爱

所以

我想要拥有你

我想要占有你的心

我要你是完全的属于我

当然，你不是玩具

我不能如此的占据你

你有你的自由

你有你的选择

我还是尊重你

虽然心里是不平衡的

我还是会接受

就像你一样

会说服自己

让自己接受现实

勉强的，压着自己最真实的情感

when i was small

i used to have a smelly blanket

that i like to hold it tight and walk around with

is the most precious thing that i adore when i was small

one day, mom realized that i have grow up

and shouldn't behave like this

without consciously,

she threw my beloved blanket

i search for it like a mad kid all around the house

and keep asking my mom

where it is where it is

and realized

she threw it

i cried for long

and finally

i got fever for a week

cause my beloved are gone

mom got me a replaced one

but i dislike the new blanket

and still moaning of wanting to the old one

if,when i was this young

i used a week to cure my broken heart

then, the adult of me now

i wonder how long it will take to cure the broken heart

and is not bout losing THING that i loved so much

but is about a losing PERSON that i appreciate for long

this time i really in deep pain

really deep

serious shit !!!

peiling go go go

peiling go go go

jia you jia you jia you

stand tough stand tough

remember

一切皆空

没有任何的人，事，物

是永远的

是永久的

会来的

也会去的

会痛的

也会好得

就因为这样

人生才奇妙

人生才多姿

这一个的他

会让我更珍惜下一个的他

因为

我学到了宝贵的一堂课

我也尝到了

什么叫做真真的失去

流逝

时间的流逝

不同等于

疼痛的麻木

或是

疼痛的减少

多谢那个爱八卦的肥仔

又再一次的，挖我心中的伤口

噢，原来还在痛的

噢，原来我只是选择不理会它的存在

当自己没事了

猪八戒 - 就是你， 你要如何赎罪

你让我再次的意识到

痛从来没离开过我

你个猪八戒

我恨你啦 ！！！

不要逼我指名道姓 - 知趣的就乖乖来赎罪

多次想问候你

多次想找你

多次想与你聊天

但最后

都是制止了这个念头

因为理智来敲头说

时机未到

你的心

还未准备好

你还不够

坚强面对

现在

唯有等待

~ 秘密 ~

惊人的秘密

让我惊讶与心痛

天！

做么那么多的麻烦事

一个接一个来

亲爱的朋友们

你们要好好保重啊

别让我担心了

不，

应该说 - 别让我心痛了

最近姑奶奶的心脏不强

我会为你们祈祷

祈祷我们能够熬过一切煎熬

并且再从中成长与学习

加油加油！！！

我们就像这样

一起的努力

生活就是如此嘛

有波折

才会懂得

珍惜

才会懂得

保护

人生就好像云一样

变化多端

自能依据所看到的来猜测

他

在扮演什么

不同的人不同的角度

猜测不同的事物

而答案

自由云知道

true heart

busy life making me no time to think that much

till i almost forgot that is already one month

surprisingly~

this is a good sign

and i hope it continued to be like that

cause my life worth a better day everyday

hope you don't contact me anymore

serious shit not now

for me,

it couldn't be ready to be a friend of yours after what we have been through

time is needed for me to adjust the new status of us

and sometimes your action really makes me wonder

you really can treat me as a friend now ?

or you just pretend you can just like you always do ?

hmmmm no one knows, only yourself do...

如果你的关心

只是想让自己好过一点

那请你收回去吧

我需要的是真心对待

如此的关心

很虚伪

不要破坏了

我一直以来对你的感觉

~memories~

saw a couple playing "scissors, rock, paper" game at the long stairs of my dining place

and it recalled my sweet past memory

he and i used to play the game when take a walk at the garden...

winner can make a step forward while loser need to stand on the same point

he always loose to me...

sometimes i will wonder

is he really that stupid

or he purposely letting me win just to let me happy...

what ever it is...

it seems like to be a past for now...

is pain to see the truth that

the sweetness we used to be no longer there

i still miss the game we used to play

tho is stupid

but is fun

do you know that

i still kept the little memo you wrote to me

when i stayed over at your house during my study week about year ago ?

you wrote there telling me to take my breakfast

and where do you keep the house key for me to go out ?

i did not throw that pieces

i kept it always in my purse

and now,

it needed to be place in a box which i rarely will opened it

a box that i called memories~

legacybullshitting

legacy bull shitting is the place where
i can voice out my negative part in me

it just like a trash bin to me here
to throw all my negative emotion and opinion and thoughts

everyone does have the negative part in them
and why do we need to hide it ?

we need a place to store it...
yet
lets blog here...

dear readers you can all leave your bull shit comment on every post

don't mind the words

maybe some of my negative thoughts can inspired you in somehow

somehow it can motivate you even more to positive side
somehow it can trigger you to do something you always discourage to do so

be true to your own feelings and thinking
negative doesn't means bad
it might somehow lead you to think in the other way round
to seek for a better solution

so beware of all the negative ion i will spread on in this blog...
:)

from :
someone that you can't resist to hate and to love in the same time