blending mixing

there r so many things running in my mind now....
making me insomnia hmm

1st : i had a dream
is a scary dream
a dream which i can't hit my sales target
and actually is happening
aikssss
so, i can see how pressure and stress i am till, i can't utter to words from my mouth

2nd : fear approaches
my promise
my dream
it haunt me again...
and i need to face the fear of "if, i fail how"
cause i know
i cannot fail
i only can success
shit !

3rd : lovely kids
owh cute kids really make me wanna marry and get pregnant....
they are so pure and innocent and cute
i love them....
damm la !!! i'm still single weh...how to get marry and get pregnant
aih !


4th : commitment
36th years of marriage lifetime
it make me wonder
what is the core "thing" that can maintain this long relationship
and still so lovely
my father and my mother
they prove me that
actually fairy tale does happened
is just that it don't happened in kingdom
but it happened right in front of me
and prove that - love still around
they going through many of up and down
and yet...they still holding hand crossing finger tightly
never thinking of letting go
this love
which i can't see it in society nowadays
which this that making me losing faith on it
i hope i have the courage to truly love again

5th : hatred
my sis friend went to a camp
then is bout mentally innerly training....
what so ever
bla bla bla
she asked me a question
did you hate anybody by now ?
or example do you hate your ex
and my answer of course yes, but not my ex
is the bitch i hate
lolxxxxx ok i know is rude
and she said, is not good to hate...
cause it will stop you from growing
i know...
it will be part of my obstacle
one day i'll forgive her
now ? sorry i can't...

Answer that never get

L.O.V.E
or to be precise
R.E.L.A.T.I.O.N.S.H.I.P

this is a topic where every one will like to discuss
a never ending discussion

it will never had a confirm answer or formula for it
is always a blank left there to be fill in

but - none can judge

why is it not a formula like the maths 1+1=2

i need an answer
so that it won't went wrong in the middle or even at the starting
wouldn't it be easier for everyone
if there is a fix confirm answer and formula for it....

awww i dislike the feeling of waiting...
i only wait for food...
not a respond~~~

想了

錯過花，


你將收穫雨，


錯過雨，

你會遇到彩虹。

***********************************************

今夜，

感触又再次的侵蚀我的       

思觉
严重的
陷入     悲伤
该说是

感伤

要下雨了

心情也沉重了

真的很怀疑

很怀疑

心

你伤好了吗 ？

痊愈了吗

还是

麻了

习惯了

不知

只知道

偶尔

会像今夜

突然地

痛 来袭

泪 来袭

沉重

伤感

但不知

是为何物

就想呆呆的

呆呆的

看着夜空

看着繁星

看着月光

等待

泪的 停止

drunk

after so long

it can't be deny that the heart is lock

cause of u

when the most fragile time

it is even prove that the heart never leave u alone

anyhow

the decision make in the last is the most desirable decision ever

wishing the best of the best for u

~ never regret of the decision make ~

无形

的

言辞

无形

的

心情

从未变过

依然强烈

保重

执着无谓的执著 - 遗憾

昨夜

与友人深谈后

才发觉

原来

到如今

为何我的心，偶时会不知觉的 - 痛 ， 酸

感觉有种遗憾

有种，错了的感觉

原来

我的遗憾来自“那天”

如果那天

我坚持

我忍受

我静思

也许

结局

会有所不一样

是我不够

- 坚强

- 忍辱

- 等待

吗？

原来

我会为此

而流泪

因为

我是那么的在意

好想有个从来

如果那天-我做了不一样的决定

今天，的结局应该不是如此。。。

竟是如此

也许 - 只有荒唐

因为

我就是-我-

即使有个-从来-

我，还是会做回原来的决定

太傲慢了

我忍受不了-些许委屈

也许，

到头来

我选择，爱自己多一点

所以，放弃了-坚持-

我没那个毅力

我承认

still having deep feeling on you

but it lost confirmation

"it" lost the purpose of loving

and miserable whether it is loving

or actually a matter of winning

feeling upset for the lost of the loved one

or

feeling upset for the lost of the relationship that built

all lost its conformity

unanswered question ever

well,

valentine coming

making me even more sensitive and sentimental

love you

well care

all the best :)

不知觉

原来有整整一个月了

整个月的相处下来

真的真的

很梦幻

也很飘渺

梦幻泡影

似真亦假

但这次

是真的了

祝你一路顺风

有缘

还是会再 见的吧

有心还是会保持联络的吧

~随缘随缘~

you are just like a mood controller for me

is glad to know you

cause i loved fireworks

thinking of you

i think

i've mess up the feeling

between two person

and it reminds me of

adele song - someone like you

so i think of you because personally you yourself

or is just because - someone like you

well the short weekend

spending with you

is really a charming weekend for me

just like a

fairy tale

never thought of i can experience that

once in my life

is cool

yet

is so fragile like a bubble

oh my oh my

short vacation

how good if it never ends

:(

sickness making me thinking of him even more...

miss his tenderness

miss his caring

miss his wanna angry but cannot angry face (cause he need to cancel his appointment with client just to take care me XD)

miss his cuteness (when i'm resting and sleeping in room...he will sneak in and out and look after me see whether i'm well a not)

hehehe...sweetness

hmm...now hafta drink fu cha (苦茶)

yucksssssss

离开后，别说祝我幸福，你有什么资格祝我幸福....

爱那么短

遗忘那么长

等待

是一生最初的苍老

有些事

一转身就是一辈子

思念

你的离开

点醒我了

原来生活上是会有遗憾的

没有完美的

这一路来

我的生活都很完整

都没失去过什么

都没什么大风波，大风浪

都是很顺很顺很顺

也很安逸很安逸很安逸

很想再叫你一次

kenken~

你做得很好噢

有遵守到承诺

不和我联络

不找我

不接我电话

真得很好

这样我才可以

不拖拖拉拉

完完全全

慢慢的把你放下

总在想

为何

我们

会走到

如此的结局

和我想象的终点

差好远好远噢

差好多好多噢

你可以给我一个完整的答案吗？？？

你还欠我一个真实的答案

好冤

流逝

时间的流逝

不同等于

疼痛的麻木

或是

疼痛的减少

多谢那个爱八卦的肥仔

又再一次的，挖我心中的伤口

噢，原来还在痛的

噢，原来我只是选择不理会它的存在

当自己没事了

猪八戒 - 就是你， 你要如何赎罪

你让我再次的意识到

痛从来没离开过我

你个猪八戒

我恨你啦 ！！！

不要逼我指名道姓 - 知趣的就乖乖来赎罪

多次想问候你

多次想找你

多次想与你聊天

但最后

都是制止了这个念头

因为理智来敲头说

时机未到

你的心

还未准备好

你还不够

坚强面对

现在

唯有等待

~memories~

saw a couple playing "scissors, rock, paper" game at the long stairs of my dining place

and it recalled my sweet past memory

he and i used to play the game when take a walk at the garden...

winner can make a step forward while loser need to stand on the same point

he always loose to me...

sometimes i will wonder

is he really that stupid

or he purposely letting me win just to let me happy...

what ever it is...

it seems like to be a past for now...

is pain to see the truth that

the sweetness we used to be no longer there

i still miss the game we used to play

tho is stupid

but is fun

do you know that

i still kept the little memo you wrote to me

when i stayed over at your house during my study week about year ago ?

you wrote there telling me to take my breakfast

and where do you keep the house key for me to go out ?

i did not throw that pieces

i kept it always in my purse

and now,

it needed to be place in a box which i rarely will opened it

a box that i called memories~