cocoon otw butterfly

-bad day-

there always up and down in life
and i feel that this is my down moment...
p/s : maybe not very down....but for me is quite down ady...

alot of thinking and feeling
i use to keep with myself
and keep it too well...
no body ever noticed
till ~~~ being misunderstand
p/s : is part of my fault, but why should i reveal all those emotion ?

well,
aquarius is a water
so
what happened to me now is...

i'm as a water
trying to fit into
a new bottles
a new shape
a new environment

i'm struggling to fit in
p/s : i'm very insecure actually, don't know what to afraid....is really don't know, and don't ask me why...i'm just insecure....i'm trying the best to overcome it...the problem is....i am the problem

i'm finding a way
a way of my way

i know i can make it...
hope it won't take too long to do so....
i'm not young anymore...i know it...
aikssss....shit

p/s : my hormone imbalance is really severe and terrible...it really affects me - innermost and outermost

不明白
为什么
要把小女人
硬生生的
训练成
大女人
-泪-

speechless

如果如此
持续发疯

我真的要离家出走了

to be honest
my EQ is not high

dun try to test my limit
when i burst
i don't know what hurtful thing i might do

pls pls !!!
stop the drama
before i give you drama

怄气 ？？？

为何怄气
怄气赢了
又如何

搞到气氛如此
然后？

不明白
想不透

个人觉得
这是个浪费时间的心理折磨
对不起
对我没效

但是
因为你
搞到
全部人如此紧张兮兮

真的很令人讨厌
因为
想置身事外
都很难

都被拖下水了
knn

我已经很烦了
为何
要多添加我的苦

你成熟点好吗

烦！！！
最近都不想呆在家

denial stage

再堕落

再犯贱

的日子

虽然很轻松

但

该是时候

醒醒了

疯也疯过了

颠也颠过了

犯贱也犯贱过了

是时候

把身分拉高了

come on

let me be a baby girl

at least for few moment

am too tired to be so rationally thinking

let me

let me

just let my emotion take over

do what ever i feel like doing

without thinking the consequences

without thinking the value

without thinking the worthy

just be irresponsible for at least now

i'm emotionally very tired

思想在沉淀

行为在放荡-ing

不知道为什么

只知道 - 这样，感觉舒畅多 :)

人生偶尔，就要如此

-像个橡皮筋，偶尔拉紧偶尔放松-

现在，我的行为在放松者~~~~

无需责任

~孩子~

有时候，

好希望自己还是个小孩

像个小孩般的

傻傻的

像个小孩般的

善忘的

那该多好

心爱的玩具没了

哭了一天

伤心了一天

睡一个觉

第二天起床

什么都忘了

忘了心爱的玩具昨天没了

或者是

妈妈买了个新的玩具

很快的，就爱上了新的玩意

将旧的抛之脑后

然后又快快乐乐的

过一天，又一天，再一天

完全忘了

以前最心爱的玩具

该有多好啊

简单简单的

怎么人越大

越那么难放下

为何就不能像个小孩一样

人的贪念很可怕

人的占有欲更可怕

我贪念你给我的快乐

我贪念你给我的温软

我贪念你给我的温柔

我贪念你给我的爱

所以

我想要拥有你

我想要占有你的心

我要你是完全的属于我

当然，你不是玩具

我不能如此的占据你

你有你的自由

你有你的选择

我还是尊重你

虽然心里是不平衡的

我还是会接受

就像你一样

会说服自己

让自己接受现实

勉强的，压着自己最真实的情感

when i was small

i used to have a smelly blanket

that i like to hold it tight and walk around with

is the most precious thing that i adore when i was small

one day, mom realized that i have grow up

and shouldn't behave like this

without consciously,

she threw my beloved blanket

i search for it like a mad kid all around the house

and keep asking my mom

where it is where it is

and realized

she threw it

i cried for long

and finally

i got fever for a week

cause my beloved are gone

mom got me a replaced one

but i dislike the new blanket

and still moaning of wanting to the old one

if,when i was this young

i used a week to cure my broken heart

then, the adult of me now

i wonder how long it will take to cure the broken heart

and is not bout losing THING that i loved so much

but is about a losing PERSON that i appreciate for long

this time i really in deep pain

really deep

serious shit !!!

peiling go go go

peiling go go go

jia you jia you jia you

stand tough stand tough

remember

一切皆空

没有任何的人，事，物

是永远的

是永久的

会来的

也会去的

会痛的

也会好得

就因为这样

人生才奇妙

人生才多姿

这一个的他

会让我更珍惜下一个的他

因为

我学到了宝贵的一堂课

我也尝到了

什么叫做真真的失去