blending mixing

there r so many things running in my mind now....
making me insomnia hmm

1st : i had a dream
is a scary dream
a dream which i can't hit my sales target
and actually is happening
aikssss
so, i can see how pressure and stress i am till, i can't utter to words from my mouth

2nd : fear approaches
my promise
my dream
it haunt me again...
and i need to face the fear of "if, i fail how"
cause i know
i cannot fail
i only can success
shit !

3rd : lovely kids
owh cute kids really make me wanna marry and get pregnant....
they are so pure and innocent and cute
i love them....
damm la !!! i'm still single weh...how to get marry and get pregnant
aih !


4th : commitment
36th years of marriage lifetime
it make me wonder
what is the core "thing" that can maintain this long relationship
and still so lovely
my father and my mother
they prove me that
actually fairy tale does happened
is just that it don't happened in kingdom
but it happened right in front of me
and prove that - love still around
they going through many of up and down
and yet...they still holding hand crossing finger tightly
never thinking of letting go
this love
which i can't see it in society nowadays
which this that making me losing faith on it
i hope i have the courage to truly love again

5th : hatred
my sis friend went to a camp
then is bout mentally innerly training....
what so ever
bla bla bla
she asked me a question
did you hate anybody by now ?
or example do you hate your ex
and my answer of course yes, but not my ex
is the bitch i hate
lolxxxxx ok i know is rude
and she said, is not good to hate...
cause it will stop you from growing
i know...
it will be part of my obstacle
one day i'll forgive her
now ? sorry i can't...

lost

struggling in between
feeling so hard now

still figuring how to overcome

overcome the unknown

hope it will be fine and be better

-insecure-

voices where have you been...
needed you so much...
your support meant alot

Answer that never get

L.O.V.E
or to be precise
R.E.L.A.T.I.O.N.S.H.I.P

this is a topic where every one will like to discuss
a never ending discussion

it will never had a confirm answer or formula for it
is always a blank left there to be fill in

but - none can judge

why is it not a formula like the maths 1+1=2

i need an answer
so that it won't went wrong in the middle or even at the starting
wouldn't it be easier for everyone
if there is a fix confirm answer and formula for it....

awww i dislike the feeling of waiting...
i only wait for food...
not a respond~~~

想了

錯過花，


你將收穫雨，


錯過雨，

你會遇到彩虹。

***********************************************

今夜，

感触又再次的侵蚀我的       

思觉
严重的
陷入     悲伤
该说是

感伤

要下雨了

心情也沉重了

真的很怀疑

很怀疑

心

你伤好了吗 ？

痊愈了吗

还是

麻了

习惯了

不知

只知道

偶尔

会像今夜

突然地

痛 来袭

泪 来袭

沉重

伤感

但不知

是为何物

就想呆呆的

呆呆的

看着夜空

看着繁星

看着月光

等待

泪的 停止

A myth that never end

If u r given a chance A chance to choose the path u wan Will u let go everything u having now And restart everything new again according to the chances given ? But with a consequences Ur memory will be erase Ur fren no longer be with u Ur childhood change Everything around that happened now and past all will an empty memory Will u ? If ur life now tho is not very satisfied Not very impressive Not very wealthy But u hv bunch of lovely supportive frens U hv family members that never leave u How ? Restart Or remain Which will u choose ? Life is always miserable Life is always a myth U never knew the best path were actually does not suite u U never knew u actually had the best in ur life How u calculate How u define How to do a conclusion -

原

原来

女人味 是如此酝酿

原来

魅力 是如此创造

原来

成熟 是如此培养

这一切 的一切

都要经过

撕心裂肺 痛心 泪水

所得来的

真的 很不容易

真的 千辛万苦

真的 坎坷

偶时

心酸，

为何美丽的背后

总是要经过一番的丑陋

shit !!!

worried

hope is not the worst as i imagined

hope is not too late for me when i decided to stand up

don't want it to go worst anymore

i had enough ady

need to wait a week

only can get to know the result

i'm so in depress and tension

WTF !!!

天方夜谭

莫名其妙

莫名其妙

莫名其妙

疯了

怎么发这样的梦

真是天方夜谭

应该

要跳进泳池清醒清醒

@@

疯了疯了

离开

有一天谈到这个话题

让我，深思了一下

如果有一天

突然的离去

我的葬礼

我希望是白色与紫色 色调

浪漫的

温柔的

气息

我的葬礼

要我很多很多

蒲公英

不里

我就是要

因为

它，象征自由，坚强

我的葬礼

要播着我喜爱的歌

carpenters - close to you

adele - one and only

air supply - making love out of nothing at all

eric clapton - wonderful tonight

还有很多，还没想到

我的葬礼

我允许我的亲爱们哭

你们就哭吧

可是不要太久哦

可以的话，聊聊我们以前做过的傻事

回忆我

怀念我

不要把我忘了

我害怕

被遗忘的感觉

真的，很怕

我的葬礼

我要我的亲爱们

穿的花枝招展， 化妆

要美美的

就像我们一起出街时那么的吸引

因为，最后的旅程

我都要美美的

而我

我要穿白色的连身裙， 长长的

如果，不幸的脸死得很丑

请盖上白布在我脸

不想到最后

让你们看到丑丑的我

我接收不到咯

我的葬礼

我要我的遗照

是笑的够力够力灿烂

如果我有拍到这样的照片的话