bommmMMMMmmmMmmm

Perfectionist and the Realistic

is a damn disaster

how to fulfill each and every opinions and thoughts ?

each of the individual have the different interpretation of beautiful

how to make a middle point ?

will tolerance make us to loose our style and concept ?

and yea

the true is

no matter how hard u do and push the limit

there is always criticizer there

think positively, is good, cause it will make u to improve even more

but

think more practically

think more deeply

there is a reason y it do happened this way

don't criticize just because u just want to criticize

think more throughout pls... 

 

thoughts million million of thought * wiping tears*

22/2/2013
an odd day which i scrolled and have a peek on the old photos
years and years

~empty~

the only word appeared in mind
not to say, the past of mine are empty
the empty here means

-what comes, it goes-
-what seemed so clear, yet faded with mist-

the relationship i had, was once the honey bee,
in end, it turns like a rotten grapes
-sucks-

the friendship i had, was once bond,
in end, it gone no where
no where, till i can't even trace the tie
-ouch-

so,
the old one will said, always said
~this are life mar, nothing stays, nothing impossible, nothing~

oh ya,
the health i had, was once awesome, so awesome
in end, worst than a nanny
-fuck-

all of the above,
doesn't means my life is a disaster right now
and also
doesn't means my life is sad

i found a new guy in life
(praying hard so hard and fucking hard, hopefully, NO...not hopefully...must...this guy must...love me forever and ever)
*puke* ahahahahahahahaha
he is a big guy that always torture me...
but i ain't weak...hiak hiak hiak...

i having a much healthy life (force to be)
but, is much better than party life...
i feel more...down to earth...
if u were party before, hardcore type...
u will know my meaning here...

friendship...
is much stable, tho not so huuu haaaa like last time...
not so often keep in touch, but u know....man yea man...
that's what i mean...LOL...

couldn't admit that
I'M OLD !!!
25th this year...
but
my heart is always and always 18th...
just like the girl who are just starting to explore the world
yea~~~hi 5

empty

speechless...
no idea wats going on
no idea how it will be
no idea

really no idea

2IN1

we both were too afraid to mention tomorrow
we both were too afraid to dream bout future

we both got -after-hurt-syndrome

and now

we both working hard to get through the past
we both working hard to create a better future

oh boy,

i wonder,
do we meant to stuck with each other
and helping each other
and pulling each other

i don't know

what do i know now is...
you giving a new heart beat...
a warm and stable type...


~H.O.P.E I.S A L.O.N.G L.A.S.T.I.N.G~

i tahan
i tahan
i tahan
i tahan
i tahan

niamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa la

Phobia

the most phobia in the heart
-you walk in and take a tour, and leave away without any sign-
just like, is supposed to be like this

闯进了

我的小世界

兜了一个圈

无声无息

消失了

理所当然

就是如此

就是为何

做了逃兵

drama drama and drama....non stop drama

last weekend is way too dramatic
till
i almost can't digest it

i have no idea
why it will turned out this way

i always wanted to get rid of drama queen title
the more i struggle
the more it stick hard with me

oh gosh

you driving me nuts
insane

what la you

~i hate you~

你的表现

让我不知所措

让我神经错乱

你的表现

让我时刻提醒

提醒，这只是幻觉

幻影，不会永久的

你这个自私的乌龟王八蛋

oh boy

oh boy,
u r torturing me mentally and physically
i have no idea y do u being so harsh on me
and wanted me to become a -tough girl-

i might weak,
but does not mean i'm not tough

maybe it just does not meet ur requirement...

but anyway,
i'll try my best to be the best
cause i know i deserve better too

but,
u too deserve the same
dun judge urself so badly
mayb u have ur own reason
yet i still dun agree on ur mindset....

everyone had their right and deserve on what they should have

gambate...
i'm eager to see the future u creating now

烟

交错的心情
交错的感触

为何，人那么爱犯贱
为何，自己不喜爱的却要去犯

安分守己
很难吗 ？

为何，要如此为难自己，为难身边人

人生就饿是那么的，那么的，无奈。。。

untitle book

you are just like a book for me....
every time i flip a page, you amuse me...
every time i read on the content, you attract me...

hope,
this is an endless book
which i can keep reading it
keep being amused
keep being attracted

this time, i won't rush
i'll read it slowly...
i'll never stop reading, if you are not leavving

~Bliss~

you've impressed me in a night
is that your true-self
or you changed without my noticed
or
you were wearing a mask all the while

this is not a mattered any more
wearing a mask or not
you choose to open up to me
-i appreciated-
-truly appreciated-

i like the you - now

i'm glad
"friend"

we'll grow together
we'll fight together

to achieve our own dream our own future

梦， 惊醒

感情总败在于

-时间-

很残酷的
清洗一切
总以为
-刻苦铭心-
的一段情

夜里的驾驶
街灯的一闪一闪

猛然的惊醒
原来
一切的一切

剩下的
只有

支离破碎 的
回忆

支离破碎 的
感触

支离破碎 的
情

支离破碎 的
想不起
一个完整 的
回忆
一个完整 的
感觉

连最痛心的
也只剩下
叹气

浑然
以 -没了-
带过

也忘了
当初
为什么

-为何开始-
-为何离开-


下一段的恋情
不是， 可以找到更好的
而是， 可以找到更合适的

dare not open heart

cause

afraid of falling into you

before

i get to know you well

dare not open heart

cause

afraid of blinding myself

before 

i get to know know you well

-anonymous- 

H.O.L.D

seems like the previous thought need to be on hold
the time haven't - not yet
let it flew with the wind
just hold on hold on...


the true worth the wait
if couldn't be wait
is no point to be understand

you don't know me by now

对于你
好像有点不公平
你，对我总是真心与真诚
让我有机会，了解与认知你
但是我，却
是否我应，对你真诚
好让你更了解我这个无厘头之人
（犹豫中）

to be or not to be

being a person
sometimes is hard
especially when you wanna being as yourself
but
seriously
who can accept the real you ?

everyone have their own preference and liking

some may accept
some may not

so how ?

blend yourself in different way when in different situation lo

then how, if wanna myself...

then be it when you are alone...
sigh~~~

~no idea~

blending mixing

there r so many things running in my mind now....
making me insomnia hmm

1st : i had a dream
is a scary dream
a dream which i can't hit my sales target
and actually is happening
aikssss
so, i can see how pressure and stress i am till, i can't utter to words from my mouth

2nd : fear approaches
my promise
my dream
it haunt me again...
and i need to face the fear of "if, i fail how"
cause i know
i cannot fail
i only can success
shit !

3rd : lovely kids
owh cute kids really make me wanna marry and get pregnant....
they are so pure and innocent and cute
i love them....
damm la !!! i'm still single weh...how to get marry and get pregnant
aih !


4th : commitment
36th years of marriage lifetime
it make me wonder
what is the core "thing" that can maintain this long relationship
and still so lovely
my father and my mother
they prove me that
actually fairy tale does happened
is just that it don't happened in kingdom
but it happened right in front of me
and prove that - love still around
they going through many of up and down
and yet...they still holding hand crossing finger tightly
never thinking of letting go
this love
which i can't see it in society nowadays
which this that making me losing faith on it
i hope i have the courage to truly love again

5th : hatred
my sis friend went to a camp
then is bout mentally innerly training....
what so ever
bla bla bla
she asked me a question
did you hate anybody by now ?
or example do you hate your ex
and my answer of course yes, but not my ex
is the bitch i hate
lolxxxxx ok i know is rude
and she said, is not good to hate...
cause it will stop you from growing
i know...
it will be part of my obstacle
one day i'll forgive her
now ? sorry i can't...

cocoon otw butterfly

-bad day-

there always up and down in life
and i feel that this is my down moment...
p/s : maybe not very down....but for me is quite down ady...

alot of thinking and feeling
i use to keep with myself
and keep it too well...
no body ever noticed
till ~~~ being misunderstand
p/s : is part of my fault, but why should i reveal all those emotion ?

well,
aquarius is a water
so
what happened to me now is...

i'm as a water
trying to fit into
a new bottles
a new shape
a new environment

i'm struggling to fit in
p/s : i'm very insecure actually, don't know what to afraid....is really don't know, and don't ask me why...i'm just insecure....i'm trying the best to overcome it...the problem is....i am the problem

i'm finding a way
a way of my way

i know i can make it...
hope it won't take too long to do so....
i'm not young anymore...i know it...
aikssss....shit

p/s : my hormone imbalance is really severe and terrible...it really affects me - innermost and outermost

不明白
为什么
要把小女人
硬生生的
训练成
大女人
-泪-

Separate Lives ~ Phil Collins / Marilyn Martin

and yes
we choose to separate lives
one day, i'll see into your eyes
but right now...
we living in separate lives...   

~bottle~

when your bottle are full with water
you'll hardly gained new spice in ya life

life is like a circle
it needed to be pour off sometimes
and
it needed to be fully filled at a moment

nothing maintain
nothing remain

the only consistency in life is
"it never change" is the changing of the life

wouldn't life be dull if your bottle is "too" full with water
till a limit which
new life could not be add in

25th

the number 25th
what does it indicates in your life ?
what does it means in your life ?

what is "25th"

is a stress
is a quarterly
is a turning point
is a decision making time

sentences that keep appeared in mind

~sigh~